Knowing When to Test Your Child: Recognizing the Signs

Sometimes, changes to your child’s or teen’s personality can leave you wondering whether he or she may be exhibiting signs of a natural development or symptoms of something more serious. Oftentimes, parents find themselves wondering, “How do you talk to your children about their mental health?” and “Do they need therapy?” In fact, many families who contact our center begin by asking these same questions. Christina Futterknecht, one of Life InSight’s therapists, can help shed some light on this area. Christina has worked closely with children and adolescents across settings – including home, school, and private office. She says, “It’s important to observe if a child’s challenges significantly impact their everyday life. Parents should focus on a few key factors, such as their behavior, emotions, learning and relationships with others. Their problems can also change how they typically cope with situations, leaving them more anxious or frustrated. Understanding how your child is affected may help guide what support they receive.” According to Christina, some signs to pay attention to include: Excessive sadness or worry: One of the most sure-tell causes for concern includes emotions that seem to take over your child’s or teen’s thoughts and behaviors. If your child seems sad, hopeless, or disinterested in activities they once enjoyed for a prolonged period, it might indicate something deeper like depression or anxiety. Although it can be natural for children to be afraid of certain things, if your child is frequently fearful, anxious, or overly worried about things that don’t pose real danger, they may benefit from someone to talk to. It’s important to note that children sometimes express emotional distress through physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or dizziness. If these are chronic, and no physical illness can be found, they could be related to anxiety or other emotional difficulties. Social withdrawal and isolation: Withdrawal from social interactions or family activities can also signal emotional struggles. Parents may begin to suspect something is wrong when their child eats alone at lunch, avoids social events, or appears reluctant to leave the home. Mood swings, irritability, or aggression: Frequent temper tantrums and outbursts that appear disproportionate to the stressor can be signs that your child is struggling with regulating their emotions or helpfully expressing their feelings. Changes in academic functioning: A sharp and unusual decline in academic performance can sometimes be linked to emotional or psychological issues. If you notice any of these signs persisting for a while and affecting your child's daily life, it may be a good idea to reach out to a child therapist for an assessment. Early intervention can make a significant difference in helping children build resilience, develop coping skills, and heal from emotional or behavioral challenges. Talking to your child or teen about mental health Christina believes that when speaking to your children about mental health, “don’t be afraid to broach the topic – emphasize that mental health is just as important as our physical health”. She adds that it is important “to create a safe space for your child and let them know it is okay to speak with you about how they feel. When listening to your child, try to encourage open communication and validate his or her feelings. Children might need time to open up, and that is okay. Give them the space and time to think about their feelings.” A patient and understanding stance can go a long way. What does child therapy look like? As kids mature and grow, so does their emotional and cognitive development. That’s why child therapy often looks different from adult therapy, and will vary depending on their age, needs, and temperament. According to Christina, the two most widely used approaches draw from Play Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. 1. Play Therapy: This is one of the most common approaches for younger children and allows youth to express themselves through play, art, games, and other creative methods. Since children might not have the vocabulary or maturity to articulate their feelings directly, play is a safe and natural way for them to work through and “talk about” their issues. 2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : CBT is a research-based, structured form of therapy that can be adapted for children and has been well validated to address concerns in anxiety, depression, or trauma. It focuses on identifying negative thought patterns and replacing them with healthier, more realistic ones. Because children have different cognitive and emotional processing compared to adults, CBT for kids tends to be more interactive, playful, and structured to match their developmental stage. Taking the first step If you’ve been wondering whether therapy could benefit your child, don’t hesitate to reach out. Life InSight’s team is here to support you and your family through every step of the process. Our experienced child therapists and psychologists specialize in working with children and adolescents, providing a safe and judgement-free environment for them to express their feelings and build effective coping skills. We offer in-person mental health therapy in our Bergen County location as well as virtual therapy options. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation and learn how we can support your child’s or teen’s mental health and emotional well-being.

For many people, social media is a constant presence in their daily routines. It offers opportunities for connection and discovery, but it also brings unique challenges—particularly when it comes to self-esteem. Sara Costello, LCSW , a licensed clinical social worker at Life InSight in Cresskill, NJ, has extensive experience working with young people and their families to address the impacts of social media. She offers insights into how these platforms shape self-perception and strategies to help teens and young adults navigate them more healthily. The Echo Chamber Effect Social media can affect self-esteem by creating an "echo chamber" through its algorithms. These algorithms monitor what people engage with and then keep showing them more of the same type of content. It might feel tailored to you, but it often amplifies certain feelings or thoughts—sometimes for the better, but often for the worse. "Algorithms can sometimes reinforce insecurities by showing content that aligns with an individual's negative self-image," explains Sara Costello. "For instance, a teen who already feels self-conscious about their body might start seeing more posts about unrealistic beauty standards, which can make them feel even worse." Parents can help their children by teaching them to think more critically about what they see online and encouraging them to focus on building real-world relationships that foster confidence and a healthy sense of self-worth. The Comparison Trap For many young people, scrolling through social media often means comparing themselves to others. This comparison can occur in two ways: Upward Comparison: When someone compares themselves to influencers or peers they aspire to be like. While this can sometimes be motivating, it often leads to feelings of inadequacy. Downward Comparison: When someone compares themselves to others they perceive as "less successful" or "less fortunate." This might offer temporary relief but can foster a judgmental mindset. "Teens are especially vulnerable to comparison because they're still figuring out who they are," Sara explains. "When their self-worth becomes tied to likes, comments, or the curated lives of others, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and a distorted sense of self." Helping Teens and Young Adults Navigate Social Media Sara emphasizes that while social media can negatively impact self-esteem, it doesn't have to. Parents can help their children develop healthier relationships with these platforms through mindful strategies and open communication. "Research has shown that heavy social media use can lead to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem," Sara notes. Here are some practical tips: Set Time Limits Together: Work with your teen to establish reasonable screen time boundaries. Encourage Positive Content: Suggest following accounts that promote kindness, education, or inspiration. Foster Real-Life Connections: Help your teen prioritize in-person relationships with supportive friends and family. Model Healthy Behavior: Show your teen how to use social media responsibly by practicing it yourself. "How we mitigate the negative impacts are to limit the exposure to social media, focus on the real connections in our lives, be critical of content we are consuming, and promote positive social media use," Sara advises. Starting the Conversation Talking to your teen about social media can be challenging, but it’s an important way to understand its effects. Sara suggests that parents approach these conversations with an open mind and genuine curiosity instead of jumping to conclusions or judgment. "Start by asking open-ended questions to understand how your child interacts with social media," she says. "For example, ask, 'What do you like about social media?' or 'How do certain posts make you feel?' This creates an opportunity for meaningful dialogue without making them feel defensive." It’s equally important to acknowledge the positive aspects of social media, like learning new skills or staying connected with friends, while working together to set healthy boundaries. Sara suggests involving teens in decisions about screen time and social media use to foster trust and mutual respect. Life InSight: Supporting Families in the Digital Age At Life InSight in Cresskill, NJ, the team understands families' unique challenges in today's digital landscape. With years of experience supporting children, teens, and parents, Sara Costello and her colleagues offer tailored approaches to help young people build self-esteem, manage anxiety, and navigate the pressures of social media. "Social media is here to stay, but that doesn't mean we're powerless against its negative effects," Sara says. "By creating open communication and a supportive environment, families can help their children develop the tools they need to thrive online and offline." If your child or teen is struggling with self-esteem, anxiety, or the pressures of social media, Life InSight is here to help . Their compassionate, expert team offers personalized services designed to support families through every step of the journey.